The Cyclical Nature of Depression

Sometimes, things feel light.

The world feels fresh, colours bright.

You feel like you can breathe and things are worth it.

Hobbies are fun, food tastes good, but do you deserve it?

Before you know it the world is gray.

The lights don’t sparkle, the sun won't stay.

You don’t eat, don’t dance, don’t sing.

You don’t wonder what else life will bring.

Maybe you do but not with hope.

Despair is all you cling to, keep looking at the rope.

They say you can find sunshine in a bottle.

Or from the counter of a pharmacist's hovel.

But what if you decided to take twenty instead of one?

You’re good for a while then, that starts to sound fun.

The silence becomes deafening.

Loneliness leaves you yearning.

You can’t understand how the world keeps turning.

Try talking about it but that leaves you fumbling.

Does anyone care that your world is crumbling?

What do you do when you’re awoken by smoke?

Do you let it consume you, keep choking as you breathe?

They always say where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

You feel like you will never remember what it feels like to desire.

Another day, another week.

Sometimes things help, for a while at least.

Yet always wondering, when you’ll next face the beast.

You find you can eat, you can sleep, you can think.

No longer do you find yourself reaching for a drink.

Does food taste better when you’ve missed it?

Every time the experience is different.

The darkness is comfortable, A familiar blanket.

You still find yourself wishing to change it.

The clouds clear and the sun shines.

In your heart you know it’s only for a time.

But you let yourself believe, dream, have hope.

At least for a while, you’re not looking at that rope.

The world doesn’t stop, it keeps turning.

You do what you can to fight the burning.

Even when your own thoughts are sinister.

You listen to professionals about what to administer.

Every time life goes gray.

Find new ways to make it another day.

See it coming when all you want is sleep.

Knowing yourself runs deep.