satire
Relationship satire can be cathartic; when love hurts too much, just laugh.
Food and Marriage
1. Love & Hair There is a woman who loves her husband very much. Every morning she prepares him a bountiful fruit salad with all of his favorites; strawberries, bananas, blueberries, green apples, and raspberries chopped up into tiny pieces. She tops it with almond yogurt, pecans, sliced almonds, walnuts, and chia seeds. She steeps his turmeric tea and gently stirs it. Before putting his fruit salad before of him, she plucks one hair from her head and strategically places it inside so that he won’t know it's there. You see this woman loves her husband so much that she wants him to carry a piece of her inside of him as he goes about his day. They laugh and chat over breakfast as usual and make love before they go to work.
By Jessica Stapp5 years ago in Humans
A Heart of Drunkness
Quite a few years back, my mother married a guy in Prince George, We’ll call him Ray. You have met Ray many times. He is the older guy, probably a mechanic or a truck driver, probably drunk when you meet him but so comfortable that way that you might not notice at first.
By H. Robert Mac5 years ago in Humans
I Am The Greatest Word of All Times
I’m not surprised I’m back in the news. I’m the champ. I am N*gger. I am the greatest word of all times. I stay in the news. People can’t stop saying me. I’ve been crushing it since 1574. That’s 445 years of mad usage. I am the greatest. I am so great of a word that even after I was turned into a derogatory slur and used to attack the losers of The United States’ game of White Supremacy, I continued to get mad usage.
By Seth K. Thomas5 years ago in Humans
post future apocalypse gift guide
How do we shop gifts for our children and our loved ones within the chaos of this last year coming to it's inevitable close? We are a consumerist society here, and the the best flash with the most cash rules the media roost, the rest of us blankly staring at the screen being imaginary Kardashian, eating our dollar store chips and wearing our good sweatpants (the ones without avacado dip stains in the crotch area, in case you're wondering).
By susan marie loehe5 years ago in Humans
Days Of The Week
Monday If Monday were a person it would be the worst person. It would be that one alcoholic drink that always reminds you of the one night you wish had never happened. It’s that one customer who always puts a downer on your entire day and then tells you they are never coming back only to be there the same time the next day.
By collette_235 years ago in Humans
Forgiveness
Dear Valued Customer, Here at Humanity, we would like to extend an updated regulatory report on one of our most popular products. Data shows that the frequency and dosage had been over prescribed. New science has shown that, although effective in many situations, it’s not the Humira of relationships we had hoped.
By A.D. Palone5 years ago in Humans
I'm your taxi
I start my day with a small work out, about 30 minutes. Have coffee, shower, then get dress.... Usually, but to day is a little more special. Today I have the pleasure of being a host for a close friend of mine, it's his birthday and of course I volunteered to be his driver. It made sense, since we would have been hanging out together anyway. Actually, I was just returning a favor. He was the driver for my birthday simple as that, you might be thinking "now why would you want a driver just for your birthday?" And the answer is easy, so you can party as much as you want and not have to worry about how you getting home or how you ended up in someone else's house, and yes that has happened. I had loads to do this day, I still had to be to work and some make it to the bank. I'm looking to start my own business and my friend Jason came up with the ideal an great ideal for us to be Uber drivers.
By Ephirium Crimley5 years ago in Humans
