The Siege of Sealand and the Emu War: 5 Bizarre Battles From Human History

Humanity has seen its fair share of wars, so it was perhaps inevitable that some battles strayed into the surreal. Let's take a look at...

• The Siege of Sealand
• The Emu War
• The Battle of Myeongnyang
• The Combat of the Thirty
• The Battle of Barnet

The Siege of Sealand

There's a micronation off the coast of Britain - a tiny independent civilization by the name of "Sealand." It claims to be one of the smallest nations in the world, and it's sole landmass is an artificial anti-aircraft platform (previously HM Fort Roughs) built in World War II. The UK abandoned it in 1956... but it was reinhabited by former British army major Paddy Roy Bates, who wanted somewhere to broadcast his radio station beyond the reach of the mainland authorities.

The history of the place is fascinating, but one particular incident stands out - an attempted take over in 1978 by a group of German and Dutch mercenaries in the employ of a German businessman. The coup was initially successful - the mercenaries (including a treacherous German with Sealand citizenship) attacked when Paddy Roy Bates was away, forcibly transferring his son onto a trawler bound for the Netherlands.

Capturing Sealand was only part of the war though. The mercenaries were ill-prepared when ex-army major Bates (accompanied by a hand picked group of Sealanders) made a helicopter assault, recapturing the platform and taking the mercenaries as prisoners of war.

Both the governments of Germany and the Netherlands asked Britain to intervene, but the British declined - a previous court case had established that Sealand was just outside their jurisdiction (and besides, the idea of the plucky micronation standing up to two major countries would have appealed to the British sense of humor.) Sealand released most of the POWs at the end of the incident, but held the dual citizenship traitor in their jail - Germany eventually had to send a diplomat to Sealand to negotiate a release!

The Emu War

In 1932, the Royal Australian Artillery faced off against a 20,000 strong force on their own shores, a tidal wave of ravenous, unrelenting assailants... known as emus.

Emus are large, tough flightless birds that are all too happy to take advantage of crops planted by Australian farmers. Naturally, the farmers didn't want all of their crops gobbled up by the hungry birds... so they petitioned the authorities for help.

Armed with two Lewis light machine guns, the Royal Australian Artillery set out to engage the foe. In theory, the guns would make quick work of the tightly-packed birds... but as the soldiers opened up, the emus scattered and became very hard targets.

A sneak attack also failed - though the soldiers got close, one gun jammed and the birds once again scattered away. Even attempts to chase them down after mounting the guns on trucks failed to make a dent in their numbers - and after six days with only a couple of hundred emu casualties, the operation was called off. The emus had outlasted their foe!

The Battle of Myeongnyang

You really never want to be outnumbered in battle - even with superior equipment and training, sheer quantity can be a formidable advantage. Unfortunately that was the position Korean Yi Sun-shin found himself in, attempting to hold off a Japanese fleet that outnumbered his own at least ten-to-one.

Now these were not good odds at all - to give themselves a chance, the thirteen warships comprising the Korean fleet waited in the Myeongnyang Strait. This shallow area was around 300m across and featured strong currents that would make it difficult for the Japanese to bring their full numbers to bear. The Korean panokseon-class ships offered Yi Sun-shin another advantage, being tough, heavily-armed and multi-decked ships with both sail and oar capabilities.

Given that the opposing Japanese fleet had over 130 ships (some estimates suggest a strength of 330) and the Korean fleet was simply the survivors of a previous battle, morale was low - which resulted in Yi Sun-shin fighting the Japanese vanguard with his flagship alone.

Amazingly, the flagship was able to hold off the invading vanguard - and seeing that things may not be so one-sided after all, the remaining Korean ships joined the engagement. The Japanese ships (many of them glorified transports intended to perform boarding actions) were forced to attack piecemeal, which lead to them be ground down by the dogged resistance of the Koreans. By the end of the day, the Japanese had lost over thirty ships and the Koreans had lost... none.

The Combat of the Thirty

Perhaps one of the strangest battles in history resembled a tabletop wargame. It occurred in 1351 during the Hundred Years' War, and featured two picked teams fighting for the succession of the duchy of Brittany. Unlike most battles, it was a prearranged affair with both sides (led by Governor Jean de Beaumanoir for House Blois and Sir Robert Bramborough for House Montfort) selecting a team of thirty fighters in lieu of an army.

This wasn't some sporting event - both forces were fighting for real, with casualties high on both sides. On the other hand, they did arrange a break during the combat for both sides to tend wounds, drink wine and have a snack.

Man of the match has to go to Guillaume de Montauban, a squire fighting for Blois who managed to defeat seven other horsemen. Bramborough himself was slain in the fighting, and the Montfort survivors surrendered. Keeping with the surprisingly chivalrous nature of this conflict, they were treated well and released after only a nominal ransom was paid!

The Battle of Barnet

There's a term for the confusion of battle - it's sometimes known as "the fog of war" with one of the clearest (and most literal) examples coming from the Battle of Barnet in 1471.

This was during the period of English history known as the "Wars of the Roses" between the House of York and the House of Lancaster. The Earl of Warwick had supported Edward of York in his bid to usurp King Henry VI, only to turn on the new monarch when King Edward IV failed to reward Warwick for his services. Warwick put the Henry VI back on the throne, but the exiled Edward IV returned with a force of Burgundian mercenaries and captured Henry. The two finally met in battle one foggy day in Barnet.

Things started well for Warwick when one of his commanders routed a flank of Edward IV's army and pursued them from the field. The battle continued in their absence and crucially, the conflict shifted the armies around. When Warwick's forces returned to the field, they mistook their allies for enemies in the fog and attacked their own lines. The resulting panic spread through Warwick's forces, with the earl himself being slain in the resulting rout!

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Sources and Further Info:

• Sealand: A peculiar ‘nation’ off England’s coast
• Sealand: History of a Nation
• Australian officials declared war on this giant bird after it destroyed crops. But even machine guns couldn’t stop it
• Yi Sun-shin
• Combat of the Thirty
• Battle of Barnet