Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Geeks.
Review - Baywatch
Back in the '90s, before the internet beamed its world of smut into our homes, hormonal teenage boys had to make do with the Saturday teatime tradition of Baywatch to get their fill of female flesh. In anticipation of the obligatory slo-mo sequence of Pamela Anderson's cleavage bouncing in her red swimsuit like two bald midgets running a sack race, a lot of VCR pause buttons were worn out. But also fast forward buttons, as in between such mammary moments the show was the very definition of tedium. The new generation of sweaty palmed tykes who visit the cinema to check out this big screen cash-in will be wishing they could access a fast-forward button too, as Baywatch the movie is so unremittingly awful it may well turn its young male audience off boobs for life. Caution: may contain spoilers.
By Eric Hillis9 years ago in Geeks
Review - Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge
As any Hollywood exec will attest, Joe Public is a tricky blighter to predict. Blockbusters with historical settings generally have as much mass box office appeal as Latvian character dramas, and those set on the high seas have historically sunk without a trace (see Roman Polanski's Pirates and Renny Harlin's Cutthroat Island; nobody else has). In 2003 however Disney found the box office treasure so many others had failed to locate when Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl proved an unexpected global hit. Everything suggested it would flop heavily - its premise seemed designed to alienate a modern audience; its biggest star was Johnny Depp, whose best years seemed long behind him at that point; and to the amusement of many observers it was a cinematic adaptation of a Disneyland attraction (see also Tomorrowland; nobody else has) - but audiences embraced it wholeheartedly, and now, 14 years later, we have a fourth sequel, Salazar's Revenge (released in the US under the far more appealing title, Dead Men Tell No Tales). Caution: May contain spoilers!
By Eric Hillis9 years ago in Geeks
Beginner's Guide to 'Lego Dimensions'
Lego Dimensions, to anyone on the outside, sounds like some crack fanfiction a child who has consumed way too much candy came up with on a school playground, which is what makes it freaking awesome. What if the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz traded out her flying monkeys for Gremlins? What if Finn and Jake from Adventure Time joined the Doctor to stop Voldemort? And somehow all of this is connected to The Lego Movie and The Lego Batman Movie, two of the best family films released in the last five years? The game features an ever-growing roster of characters, and throws them all into a playground of the imagination. And, somehow, all this chaos has a story! Arcs! There is a method to this madness! All of this content may seem a little overwhelming to the average guy just discovering Lego Dimensions, but, with this little guide, maybe this phenomenon may be a little easier to figure out.
By Anthony Gramuglia9 years ago in Geeks
We Need A Haiku To Save Us: Captain America
Hello and welcome to part 3 of "We Need A Haiku To Save Us" in which we use the underrated art of haiku to examine our favorite spandex wearing face punchers. This installment we look at one of the most loved, and as of late much debated Marvel characters Captain America himself, Steve Rogers. These haikus run the gamut throughout the Captains lengthy career, covering him at different times in his life.
By Derek Heid9 years ago in Geeks
Review - Inversion
Their figurehead, Abbas Kiarostami, may no longer be with us, but Iranian filmmakers continue to be at the forefront of mature, adult oriented drama. Asghar Farhadi regularly picks up awards across the globe, most notably with Oscars for A Separation and The Salesman. Despite being 'banned' from filmmaking in his native land, Jafar Panahi has managed to produce some of the most invigorating work of his career under such conditions with experimental films like Closed Curtain and Taxi Tehran. And from a society not known for its gender equality, Behnam Behzadi now gives us one of 2017's most well developed female leads in family drama Inversion.
By Eric Hillis9 years ago in Geeks
Destiny: Age of Wrap-Up
[I wrote the first part of my Destiny review after having played through (and been disappointed by) the abrupt and surprising lack of content in Vanilla Destiny. This piece covers the completed game, about two years after I wrote my conflicted and irritated original review.]
By Such A Geek9 years ago in Geeks
