you mistake me for the speaker of my poems
"I own my words / my words are not my own."
—and you call me embarrassing.
your words sting, dripping with venom,
sending my body into panic. I cry,
half anger / half devastation.
how easily you assumed I am the speaker
of my poems. how can I blame you?
you, who grew up catholic,
and have experienced so much shame
that it gnaws at you, claws at you from inside,
desperate to escape.
I cannot always be the speaker of my poetry.
that is too heavy a responsibility,
to be the speaker. sometimes
I must escape myself. do you know how that feels?
to want a way out of yourself, to pretend
to be someone else, just for a while?
I own my words / my words are not my own.
you tell me words are dangerous, as if I don’t know.
your words, cutting through me like teeth
through flesh, messy
and unforgiving.
your words, protecting a belief.
the hymns have no meaning
to me.
____________________________________________________
after my poem, after communion, I question god (2021)
About the Creator
katherine j zumpano
poet & writer in the pnw
bookworm
author of 'from me, to you' & 'what we leave behind'
anti-ai | anti-facism
find me on instagram & threads: @kjzwrites
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Comments (8)
Congratulations on your Awesome Top Story 🎊 👏 💐
Love this! I resonate with this so much. I often feel like my poems aren't my words, I am just a channel for them. Congrats on the TS!🥰
Congratulations top story 👏🥰
Congrats Top Story 🎴🎴🎴♦️♦️🃏🟩🟪🟥🟧🟨🟨🟨🟧🟥◻️◼️🔲🔲🔔🔔🔔🎴🎴🀄️🎴🎴🎴♦️♦️🃏🟩🟪🟥🟧🟨🟨🟨🟧🟥◻️◼️🔲🔲🔔🔔🔔🎴🎴🀄️🎴🎴🎴♦️♦️🃏🟩🟪🟥🟧🟨🟨🟨🟧🟥◻️◼️🔲🔲🔔🔔🔔🎴🎴🀄️🎴🎴🎴♦️♦️🃏🟩🟪🟥🟧🟨🟨🟨🟧🟥◻️◼️🔲🔲🔔🔔🔔🎴🎴🀄️🎴🎴🎴♦️♦️🃏🟩🟪🟥🟧🟨🟨🟨🟧🟥◻️◼️🔲🔲🔔🔔🔔🎴🎴🀄️🎴🎴🎴♦️♦️🃏🟩🟪🟥🟧🟨🟨🟨🟧🟥◻️◼️🔲🔲🔔🔔🔔🎴🎴🀄️
Conflating poet and persona is as common as it is foolish. Thank you for spelling that out with such visceral clarity!
Wow, wow, wow. Gut wrenching imagery here, and I love how this can be picked apart and taken in so many ways. Obviously there is a religious undertone here; I too have experienced the "be careful what words/names you use" from other religious people when I show them my work which can veer toward the dark end of fiction. But then also the idea of "not being the voice of my poems/work" is SO REAL. It becomes frustrating sometimes when people comment condolences/hope you feel betters when I write a sad poem when that's not what I'm looking for? And it's not always directly from my own experiences? I don't know, it's a pet peeve of mine. x3 Really loved this. You got a new subscriber out of me!
This grabbed my attention immediately; held on; twisted my insides; made my question my own words and if they’re my own.
This is fantastic. These words "to want a way out of yourself" hit home. For so long, I was trying to find a way out.