
I thought I had sealed it properly,
laid each brick with steady hands,
stacked them high enough
to block the weather out.
No mortar,
but I told myself it would hold.
I told myself
balance could be enough
if I was careful.
Years passed
with sunlight in the doorway,
with laughter that felt real in my chest,
with a body I dragged back from the edge
and taught to stand again.
I lived inside that house
like it was safe.
Until the first crack
not loud, not violent,
just a shift
in the quiet.
A conversation
that wasn’t mine
but slipped under the door anyway,
carrying something familiar
in its breath.
I didn’t recognise it at first.
Not fully.
Just a tightening,
low and instinctive,
like my body knew before I did.
Then it came back
not as memory,
not clean,
not something I could hold up
and name.
It came as fragments,
edges,
flashes that didn’t ask permission.
A feeling before a picture.
A knowing before a word.
And the walls
they didn’t fall all at once.
They gave way slowly,
brick by brick,
each one loosening
as if something inside them
had been waiting
to be seen again.
I tried to hold them.
Pressed my palms against the cracks,
told myself
this wasn’t real,
that I had already survived
everything there was to survive.
But this
this was new
and old at the same time.
Something my mind
had buried so deep
it forgot the shape of it
until now.
Until it returned
wearing the past
like it had never left.
And suddenly
I was standing in that house again,
but the roof was gone,
the walls split open,
everything exposed
to a sky that felt too wide
to be safe under.
I could see it then
not clearly,
not all at once,
but enough
to know
this had always been there,
quiet beneath the floorboards,
waiting for the weight of my life
to shift just enough
for it to rise.
The worst part
is not that it came back.
It’s how familiar it feels
now that it’s here.
Like something in me
recognises it,
even as I stand there
trying to understand
how I ever lived
without knowing
this was part of the house
all along.

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