Should You Drop a Friend Who Talks too Much?

We’ve all had those friends…The ones who dominate a conversation. You can’t get a word in edgewise if you tried.

You learn to live with him/her, because you’re used to it and well, chattering too much is harmless….Or is it?

Friends Who Talk all the Time are not Good Listeners

According to this article by Therapist F. Diane Barth, non-stop talkers often don’t understand that listening is an important part of communicating and connecting with others.

She advises asking the chatterer if they would mind you interrupting.

But if they tell you point blank, “I just want to finish my thought.“ You could respond with, “Oh, I thought you had finished. Can I tell you what I heard you say?”

I love that response. It basically stops the chatterer in his place. He realizes he has spoken for too long and that you really are listening, so no need to go on and on.

In this Reddit post, the OP went to lunch with a group of ladies, and one simply hijacked the conversation. No one else could get a word in. She said she was completely exhausted after the outing.

One Redditor commented, “That’s actually one of the worst personality traits. It makes me think like, does this person even like us? She’s just using us to get it all out of her system.”

Should You End the Friendship with Someone Who Talks Constantly and Never Listens?

This Psychology Today article made an interesting point:

“People tend to over-talk when they’re hungry for attention and validation. Interrupt with compassion.“

The author maintains ducking the incessant talker only works for so long. Ultimately you have to say something. It is OK to interrupt and even change the subject abruptly.

I simply look at my watch and say, “Great talking to you, but I gotta run.” And leave.

If changing the subject, politely interrupting and making a mad dash for the exit doesn’t work, most agree, it is OK to end the friendship, or at least distance yourself…Especially if you are always leaving the conversation feeling drained.

Remember, friendship is a two-way street. I have left many friends who I felt used by. Either they constantly talked and everything was about them, or I felt unheard or in some way diminished.

The worst offenders are those who appear to listen to you after they have gone on yet another diatribe about whatever the crisis of the moment is…But they don’t actually listen.

Sure, this person might repeat what you are saying, but it doesn’t mean they care enough about you to listen and consider what you are saying.

It makes me crazy when I describe a problem I am having and then instead of offering a thoughtful comment or even, “Sorry you are going through that.” No, they one-up me instead.

”Oh, that is nothing compared to what I went through……”

You get the idea. I run for the exit real fast and never look back. Those “friends” are exhausting. They suck up my time and energy and honestly, not worth investing anymore into the relationship.

And I don’t care if you have been buddies with this person since kindergarten. Things change…People change. And just because the two of you have a shared history, doesn’t mean they deserve to be in your life any longer.

You don’t need a reason to drop a friend. If you are getting nothing out of the relationship, you need to take a long hard look at why they still occupy your time. Doesn’t mean you have to cut them off completely.

A lot of times, simply distancing yourself is enough.