Celebrating Mother's Day When Your Mom Has Passed Away

Losing Your Mom

If you have lost your mom, it's difficult enough, but it's even harder when her special day comes around. I know how it feels. I lost my mother. The first year was the worst. I remember how lost I felt. I just couldn't understand why she had to die when so many other people I knew still had their mothers.

It's a difficult time, but as sad as it may be, there are ways to turn this into a joyous celebration that honors your mom (and all that she did for you).

Remembering Your Mother

There are many ways to remember your mom on Mother's Day. A common way is to bring flowers to her grave. Now, I actually have a different view on that. When I'm gone, and if my spirit lives on, I wouldn't want to hang out at a cemetery. Instead, I would want to be back home spending time with my family.

That said, consider getting your mother some flowers, but put them in your home. Not only can she enjoy them, but so can you and anyone else who'll be at the house.

Did she have a favorite singer or group? If so, play some of her favorite songs, especially upbeat and happy ones. Was there a movie the two of you used to enjoy watching together? In that case, pop some popcorn and remember her while watching the film.

Talking to Your Mom

It may seem a little silly, but talking to your mom can really help with the grief you're feeling. Oftentimes, we have unfinished business with loved ones who have passed away or things we wish we had said if we had only had more time. Now is your opportunity.

If you don't know what to say, begin by letting her know how you feel. Tell her you love and miss her. Also, be sure to tell her how important she is to you.

You can also tell her some of your fondest and funniest memories of her to lighten the conversation a bit. This whole process can be very therapeutic, and you'll be able to say everything that you wish you could have before.

Gift for Mother's Day

Just because your mother isn't physically here doesn't mean you can't honor her with a gift.

A heartwarming way to remember your mom is to put together a scrapbook with pictures that recall some of your favorite memories of her. This could be family outings, holidays, vacations, or anything else that brought you joy and happiness growing up.

If your mom enjoyed gardening, you can plant something in her honor. A small tree or flowers would fit the bill.

I'm particularly fond of garden stones. You can get one with your mom's name or "mother" written on it, or you can personalize it with anything you would like to have on it. Not only does it pay tribute to your mom, but it also looks lovely in the garden.

Family Activity

If you're celebrating Mother's Day with family or friends and need a group activity, here's something special you can do: Light a candle. One at a time, pass it to each person present and have them say something about your mom.

It can be something special your mother did for them, a funny moment they shared with her, or an activity they enjoyed together. There's nothing set that anyone has to say. Just let each person speak from the heart about something they remember.

A Poem for Mom

It's never too late to tell your mom how you feel about her. If you're comfortable, why not write her a heartfelt poem and read it out loud? Don't worry about the poem's structure or even if it rhymes. It's all about letting her know how you feel.

If you can't find the right words, I have a couple of poems I've written for my mother that you are welcome to use. I'm a writer, not a poet, but if you like either of these, I would be honored if you shared them.

I Miss My Mother

I miss my Mother on this very special day,

And I wonder what words of wisdom she would have to say.

Would she offer a hug or a warm embrace?

Or would she gently touch me on my face?

I wonder where she is now and what she can see,

Does she hover around still taking care of me?

I hope she feels the love from my heart,

And of my life, she is still a big part.

Goodbye Mom

It's so sad to see you go,

My tears will not end.

Yet, I see your smiling face

Across every bend.

I know your love is here

I feel it every day.

Yet it's hard to understand

Why you had to go away.

On Mother's Day I honor

The memories of you,

The joys that you have given

And the love that is so true.

Missing Your Mom

As you can see, there are many ways to honor and celebrate your mom on Mother's Day, even if she has passed on. Of course, it's okay to mourn her loss and shed some tears. After all, she was a very important part of your life. However, it's also okay to experience some smiles and laughter when you reflect on the memories you shared with her.