🍽️ The Secret Society of Selective Invitations (A University Tale 😂)

University life is supposed to be about friendships, memories, late-night talks, group studies that somehow turn into gossip sessions, and of course… food. A lot of food. Lunch plans, dinner plans, chai breaks, and those “let’s just grab something quick” moments that somehow stretch into hours. But somewhere between lectures and life, something very interesting starts happening.

Small, quiet, exclusive groups begin to form. Not official groups—no announcements, no posters—but very real ones. These groups operate silently, like a secret society. They laugh with you in class, sit with you sometimes, even say “we should hang out,” but when it actually comes to making plans… suddenly, you are not part of the equation.

Let’s talk about Mr. X. Every university has a Mr. X. He interacts with you regularly, jokes with you, maybe even shares notes or asks for help. Everything feels normal, friendly, even close. But when dinner or lunch plans happen, Mr. X somehow gathers a selective group—and you are not included. Not even informed. You only discover it later.

And how do you find out? Instagram stories, of course. A perfectly filtered photo of food, a group selfie, and the caption: “Great dinner with the best people ❤️.” You stare at it for a moment, slightly confused. “Best people?” you wonder. You didn’t realize there was a selection process happening.

This is where group chat dynamics get interesting. There’s always the main group chat—the one everyone is in. It’s full of memes, random conversations, and zero actual planning. Then there’s the secret subgroup chat, where real plans are made. And sometimes, there’s even a VIP version of that chat. At this point, it feels like university friendships come with hidden levels you didn’t unlock.

Now, let’s be honest—it feels a little strange. Not because of the food itself, but because of the feeling. You thought you were part of the circle. You thought the connection was mutual. But instead, you’re quietly excluded. No drama, no confrontation—just silence. And sometimes, that silent exclusion hits harder than anything else.

Islam gives us a beautiful perspective on this. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor does he abandon him.” This reminds us that even small actions, like leaving someone out repeatedly, can feel like a form of emotional abandonment.

At the same time, let’s not pretend we are always the victim. If we reflect honestly, we might realize that we’ve also been part of smaller circles at times. Maybe we didn’t invite someone, maybe we overlooked someone unintentionally. It happens. That doesn’t make us bad—but it gives us a chance to improve.

Then comes the classic excuse: “Brooo we forgot to invite you.” And you just stand there thinking… forgot? You remembered to plan everything, choose the restaurant, take photos, and post stories—but forgot the person you see every day? That’s some very selective memory right there.

Another powerful teaching from Islam says, “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” If we pause and think—would we like being left out? Probably not. So naturally, we should try not to make others feel that way either.

Of course, forming small groups is natural. Humans are wired to have closer circles. That’s not the problem. The issue is when those circles become so closed that others feel invisible. There’s a difference between having close friends and quietly excluding people.

What makes it even more confusing is how normal everything feels the next day. Mr. X will still come up to you and say, “Hey bro, how are you?” And you’ll respond normally, but inside there’s that small question: if everything is normal, why wasn’t I included?

In reality, it’s not really about the food. You could easily eat somewhere else or even enjoy your own company. The deeper issue is the feeling of being left out of a shared experience, of not being considered. That’s what lingers.

Instead of letting this turn into negativity, there’s a better approach. Be the person who includes others. Invite people, even those who are quiet or overlooked. Don’t overthink every situation, because not all exclusions are intentional. And most importantly, build your own circle—one that reflects kindness and openness.

The Qur’an reminds us, “Indeed, the believers are but brothers.” Brotherhood is not just about words; it’s about actions. It’s about making people feel seen, remembered, and valued—even in small things like a simple meal invitation.

So to all the Mr. X characters, the secret planners, and the “we forgot” experts—we see you. And to anyone who has ever felt left out, remember this: you are not less important, and you are not truly forgotten.

Sometimes, you’re just not part of that particular table. And that’s okay. Because maybe you’re meant to build your own table—one where everyone feels welcome.

And honestly, that table will always be better. 🍽️✨